I'll be loving you
by stevieLUVSAlex
Summary: S/J shipping. A near-sacrifice causes feelings to come to a head ... mostly fluff, cause I love S/J!
1. I resign

_**A/N:**__ I realize that a few readers out there like some of my SG-1 FF's, so when I stumbled across this one, the first FF I ever wrote regarding stargate, I figured why not share it… I may have MANY mistakes regarding the facts, and feel free to point them out. It's a two-shot. =)_

_This FF actually has a story behind it. At the time, I was living with my now ex-housemate, and she was obsessed with SG-1 and slowly getting me into it. I was still in my, "It's alright… NOT great" stage. My housemate was my BFF then, and I went away for a weekend to spend time with my sister, this had been the first time we had spent time apart since she moved in, so it was sad… if you know what I mean. While I was away, I found myself thinking of SG-1, and she (as I later found out) was filling her head with Gilmore Girls, which is a favorite of mine. Watching the DVD series, she managed to kill time. My sister lives on a farm in the middle of nowhere, NO shops, NO nothing. So, I decided to try my hand at writing a SG-1 FF, when I read it over the phone to my housemate, she was SO excited, and to my amazement said it was done well, but that could have been cause she missed me so much. =)_

_So this one is dedicated to Tootapanga1_

_**And this is the finished product. =) **_

Sam could feel the tips of his fingers on her collarbone, as her heart stood still, not only from the grip he had on her, but from the adrenaline caused by the Gou'ald's that were only feet away from exposing their position. Her stomach was wrecking havoc with her body, aware of how closely Jack O'Neill was holding his body to hers. Her back rested against his chest, one arm firmly around her waist, the other progressively edging closer towards the base of her neck. Sam's trembling hand braced the wall behind them, her free hand gripping his arm for solace. She closed her eyes, Jack's warm breath on her cheek.

Sam heard the footsteps of the Gou'ald's diminish, and Jack's hand tightened around her waist. She held her breath.

"I think they're gone," he whispered.

The relief swept through her body, as she sighed heavily releasing the air from her mouth. Jack removed his hand from her body and in one swift move, turned her around to face him.

"Sir…" she smiled weakly, her eyes settling on his lips.

"We should…" his voice trailed off as he locked eyes on her. She felt her heart quicken and she struggled to breathe.

Sam Carter nodded awkwardly.

"We should go find the others, Captain," he said quietly taking her hand. Sam felt the warmth of his fingers curl around hers, and she struggled to remind herself that they were on a mission, and even then, their professional positions in the Stargate Program forbid any romantic notions among teammates.

Jack pulled her towards the long corridor and headed straight for the exit. A figure jumped out, sending Sam's free hand to rest on her heart, her other hand still gripped to the Colonel's.

"You will become a host!" the distorted voice stated looking directly at Sam. Jack's eyes glanced slightly her way as he held his concentration to the enemy before him. The adrenaline pumped wildly into Sam's veins.

The female woman, with long rich-red hair, who was not only possessed by a Gou'ald, but the Queen Bee, took a step sideways and came face to face with Colonel Jack O'Neill.

"Or you…" the voice stared him up and down, evaluating… summing him up.

"I won't have anything to do with your disturbing psycho-babble. Now, be gone before someone drops a house on you!" he shot at the woman with sarcasm, clearly pleased with his choice of words.

Sam suppressed a smile.

The Gou'ald's expression changed to frustration. Holding out her sword-like wand, she directed it towards Jack. Sam's stomach lurched. If it struck her teammate, he was as good as dead.

"I'll do it!" Sam announced her mind no longer rational. She'd been a host before, and she could do it again if it meant that Jack lived. Some sacrifices made in the Stargate Program were bigger than others, and this seemed like a small price to pay to save the life of someone she loved.

"Captain, Carter!" Jack roared, a hint of fear gripping his throat like fire.

"Its okay, Sir," she was not afraid for herself, she was afraid for him.

"No, Captain, step back!" he ordered.

Sam hesitated. A moment later she took one step behind Jack. "Sir…" she pleaded, her heart caught in her throat. "I-"

Jack shot her a look. "I'm working here, Carter." He turned his attention back to the Gou'ald. "Listen to me, motor-mouth, we are going to leave here, and you are going to let us through unharmed."

The red-head laughed, causing Jack to glance back at Sam with a is-she-for-real look, which gave the Gou'ald a perfect opportunity to catch him off guard. She attacked, and he lost his balance, diving out of the way as she pointed her wand his way, leaving Sam unprotected for an instant. It was all the red-head needed to make her move. She seized Sam's wrist and presented her with a snake. Sam's heart quickened.

"SAM!" his voice boomed. Sam glanced at him momentarily, and for a brief moment his eyes locked on hers. She seemed to tell him something, but he didn't understand. He shot forward and attacked the Gou'ald with a trained physical kick to the female's stomach.

The snake flew from her hand and shriveled on the floor beneath their feet, without a Host or the correct liquid needed to sustain the life, the snake-like creature, the Gou'ald, would cease to exist. Jack's attacked continued to progress as he shoved the female against the wall, snatching the stick-like wand from her hand and aiming it in her direction. It went off, striking the Gou'ald to the ground, where she lay lifeless.

Sam felt the relief wash over her, and Jack pulled her unexpectedly into his arms, embracing her in a hug. A moment later he released her, pulling her at arm's length. "Don't you EVER do that to me again," he barked. "You don't put yourself in harm's way on purpose, Captain. I protect my team, I have your back. Got it?"

"Got it, Sir," she nodded. It seemed so stupid now that her mind was rational again, when they'd been through so much worse unharmed.

Jack lifted her chin with his index finger, forcing eye contact. Promise me, captain," he urged.

"Sir…"

"Promise. Me."

Sam nodded. "I promise."

His lips settled on hers, and it took no effort at all to respond to his kiss. Her mouth parted slightly and his lips moved over hers with hurried passion, he braced her pulling her tightly against him. "I love you, Carter," he spoke pausing only for a moment before he covered his mouth over hers beginning another powerful, all-knowing, mind-blowing kiss.

"I love you, too, Sir…" she murmured against his mouth, smiling happily at the long over-due words.

But the facts did not go unnoticed as Sam broke away.

"What now?" she asked. She feared the consequences would be ignorance, for their relationship could not hold romantic notion as long as they were with the Stargate Program. She was prepared to accept that she could not keep him.

"You resign," he shrugged, unable to draw his attention away from her mouth. "You work at the base, in the office away from danger… I'll take to the General."

"Sir-" it seemed hardly fair for him to expect her to give up field work – or maybe it could work, maybe all it would take was compromise, she thought, silently considering his proposal.

"Or… I resign," he shrugged.

Sam smiled. "You couldn't live without the field work, Sir, with all due respect. You can't sit still long enough to do through a debrief, but nice try," she grinned.

"Would you resign?" he looked slightly sad at the prospect.

"I don't know… I'd like to try," she kissed him softly. "I resign."

"YOU WHAT?"

"Daniel?" Sam's head turned. Jack dropped his arms from Sam's waist.

"Did I hear you right, you resign?" he demanded. The surprise was evident and not at all prepared for.

Sam blushed looking back to Jack for help. He shrugged unknowingly. It was her decision.

"Sam, are you really-"

"Yes," she nodded making an instant decision. It had not saddened her as she expected. Her eyes glanced Jack's face for a reaction.

A smile was slow and full, reaching his eyes. He pulled her to him, and dipped her halfway to the floor, supporting her back as he enveloped her in a passionate kiss.

It was well worth it, she concluded, enjoying her new-found romance with a man who had long ago, stolen her heart.

_As I read through this again, I realized they never would have said I LOVE YOU… but it's always nice to hear, nonetheless. =) You want the second chapter I did, it's MUCH more them I promise?_


	2. I'll be loving you

_A/N: I thought that by the end, they were back to their own characters… I hope you did too! Enjoy the story, and thanks for reading =)_

Sam Carter had been off field duty and on desk work for two months, 1 week and 6 days. She was slowly losing her sanity. Sam had always been ambitious. She liked to get her hands dirty, so to speak. Even as a child she had been too active to sit still, she'd stand at her desk, or pace the floors as she discovered a new artifact, which was no wonder then that she itched to go through the stargate again, to be out there with her team, another world, light years away, fighting enemies and saving the world. There was only so much she could do on base.

Sam had resolved to speak to Colonel Jack O'Neill, who since "desk duty" been the reason she hadn't been discovering new planets. Their relationship had progressed through the many, many months, at the Stargate program, but one dire situation had forced everything to come to a head. Sam and Jack had agreed to give things a go, to see where their relationship could go if given the opportunity. So far it had been more than perfect, it had been everything she wanted from him, he had been attentive, when he could, and thoughtful, he had dropped his sarcasm whenever they were alone together. He was simply Jack.

But now Sam was at a loss, it wasn't that her love for Jack had plummeted, on the contrary, she had gained immense respect for him over the course of their new-found romance. But Sam's heart ached to be out in the field. She'd held off as long as she could, but she knew if she didn't discuss her feelings with him, resentment would soon follow.

It was only 2 hours later when Jack returned from his latest mission on PX3789, after his debrief he made his way to Sam's quarters. She was already waiting.

He enveloped her in a hug and for a moment, the two seized the opportunity to hold onto the moment, the relief of being together, however short their time was, before the next stargate mission.

"God, I missed you, Carter," he whispered softly in her ear. Sam closed her eyes imprinting his voice in her mind. "I hate leaving you," he confessed lifting his chin to her index finger. She smiled adoringly at him, her eyes sharing her every emotion. He gently kissed her and smiled tucking her short-blonde hair behind her ears.

"Then don't leave me," she whispered nervously. Sam didn't want to lose him, but her heart yearned for him too often they were apart. She saw him more frequently when they were out on missions.

Jack stepped back, slight confusion evident on his face. "Captain…" despite her resignation from his team, he still called her by her rank, and on rare occasions Sam found herself whispering the name… Sir.

"I miss being out there, Jack. I've never been tied down. I like playing with dirt… I like being out there," she gestured to the door. "I miss the missions," she confessed.

"I know," he nodded thoughtfully. "It hasn't been the same without you." He pulled his arms around her waist and brought her forward. "Do you want to rejoin the stargate program?" he asked with a gentle voice.

"How can we do that?" she shrugged sadly. "I don't want to give this up… you and me."

"I want you to be happy," he admitted.

Sam smiled. Jack made her happy, but she was beginning to see that it wasn't even for her in this life. She needed more. She needed to explore all the possibilities.

"I'd like to be on missions with you," she confessed.

"You know that means we can't…" he didn't need to finish his sentence; they both knew how it ended.

Sam nodded. "How would you feel if-"

"You know how I feel about you, Sam," he confirmed. "If you'd be happy, well… I want that for you Carter, you know that."

Again Sam nodded. Jack hugged her again, she clung to him, knowing that once she let go, all the rules changed. Before either of them pulled away, Jack lowered his head brushing his lips against hers as a final attempt to savor the moment that would soon come to an abrupt end.

"I do care about you, Jack," she murmured.

Jack nodded. "I know. Look at the upside though… you'll be back with me, and Teal'c and Daniel, saving the world. And what could be better than that," he smiled.

Sam beamed at the prospect of being back with the team. "I should talk to General Hammond," she said.

"Yeah, okay."

Sam had to pry herself away, and as she moved passed him; pausing her eyes as she brushed his shoulder. An ache washed over her. It actually dawned on her that she had to give him up. While she gained more time with him in the field, what she lost was the intimacy of his affection. He would no longer embrace her in a hug, or come into her quarters after a mission to press his lips to hers and tell her he missed her. There would be no future talk of the future, plans to share their lives together, no marriage, no children. She would lose the playful, emotional, affection Jack O'Neill, and replacing him would be the protective, too-serious, slightly sarcastic, all-business Colonel Jack O'Neill, Sir.

She imprinted what little moment she had left of loving him openly, and in that slight pause as their shoulders brushed, he seemed to understand her hesitation. "Remember," he smiled cheekily. "I'll be thinking about you on every mission, every after mission debrief, every time I have to sit across the table from you while we discuss our next tactic. Every moment we're together, every moment we're apart… I'll want to kiss you. You'll see it on my face, very clearly. Every time I watch the Simpsons and Homer makes one of his oh-so-dumb comments, I'll be loving you."

Sam wondered then if she was making a mistake, had she given up too easily? It must have been evident on her face because Jack spoke accordingly.

"It'll seem worth it when we rid the world of an alien take-over. Remind yourself from time to time, we're saving the world," a sadness clouded his eyes. "And I'll do the same… Sam," he sighed.

Sam stood still, her eyes locked on his, and as she stepped away, he was quick to pull her back, pulling her tightly against him. "I might not get a chance to do that again," he whispered.

Sam narrowed her eyes. "I understand… Sir," it took effort to speak the title this time, both of them knowing it meant the end of their romance, an unspoken ending to the still blossoming love and respect that was enveloped in both their hearts.

"I'll be seeing you, Captain," Jack gave one slight nod of the head, and with a final smile, he exited the room, leaving Sam watching after him, a tear forming in the corner of her eyes.

But Sam Carter knew, that this was not the end for Sam and Jack… time would be on their side again, someday… and until then somewhere in the universe, in another reality, Sam and Jack already had their happily ever after.

_I changed the ending slightly, cause I originally had her in Hammonds office asking to rejoin the program, but it seemed unnecessary. This way is better I think… how do you feel? All comments are welcome! =) _


End file.
